Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Puppy Love



The first time I met your eyes,
The butterflies in my stomach freely fly
I cannot contain the good ache in my chest
My heart jumps each time I hear your name

Desperation to be with you, it’s hard to deny
My hunger for your kisses, your sweet taste
Caress of your arms on my shoulder,
I am thirsty with the love, I am longing await

Every second passed through our way,
Feels like hours of your stay
I have never think this will come this far,
Even if in reality I only watch you by far

I assume this will last a lifetime
These perfectly imperfect dreams I have
I will never stop loving you, ever,

Even if this last music ends.

Monday, January 20, 2014

Grudges Inside

I smiled, I laughed, I tried so hard
I sang, I danced  to the music of life
I rejoiced every moment I had
Yet still hunted by my past

I shared, I loved, I gave all I could
I forgave yet never forgotten how I fall
I faced reality even in despair
I shouted, I sobbed, I fought, I lost

Living everyday and hoping for tomorrow
Escaping from yesterday, fooling myself once more
The light turned low, shadows hugged me
Slowly grudges killed me with no mercy

Keeping myself numb wasn’t enough
acting to be strong, made me coward
Burying all in my  heart, made me weak
Sobbing every night, dealt with thousand deaths

How to get over if I can’t stay away
Grudges of yesterday caged me forever
It grows everyday in me, I clenched

Please, help me get out of here

Friday, January 17, 2014

Agony

I want to scream and shout
All this sadness, I want to cry out loud
It hurts my heart aches
So painful, I can’t regain my smile again

It’s hard to let you go out of my life
Hard to see you cry every night
It’s what my weakness and stupidity cause
A jaded heart, a shattered hope

I loved you, if you only knew
I sacrificed everything for you
But why can’t you hear what’s I am trying to say?
You can’t see the hole you created

You said I’m selfish, you said I’m coward
You said I’m cruel and give you unfair life
I take it all even if it reaped me apart

But not when you freed me and said goodbye

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Face of The Past

In all situations we had been
All the fights we started
Every time we argued, we smile at the end
And we spoke out love, no more tears shed.

We had great time, great memories
Worst night, endless dilemmas
But we faced it all, we solved together
And joy remained to lighten up our day.

Gloomy feelings, bitter thoughts,
Self-centered acts, close-minded words
But with a touch of our hands,
All were vanished, just me and you.

I loved you more than you could ever think
I loved you with all that I could give
You made me special even if in span of year

You loved me, because you loved me for who I were.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

In the End



Time passed and everything doesn't last
Still you stare at blank, thinking what else you have.
Hours gone to minutes, to seconds,
Why can’t you keep the one thing you want?

People come, and soon they go,
All these faces you see never stay long.
You meet new ones, and then lost someone,
And in the end, you are left behind.

Totally random, that is your life ahead,
Until you created your own path and light the way
Go straight, be strong, and be wise
And in the end, wear your sweetest smile

Time may pass and everything doesn't last
But when you look back, you will see something worthwhile
You become stronger, more you, and less them,

And in the end, you have the only thing you want

Happiness.

Start of new Beginning

“No, this is not the beginning of a new chapter in my life; this is the beginning of a new book! That first book is already closed, ended, and tossed into the seas; this new book is newly opened, has just begun! Look, it is the first page! And it is a beautiful one!” 

Another book of my life is done written and another new is just starting. I had been through a lot in the past, either good or bad. I faced so many challenges, and survived all the problems blocked my way to the end. I learned a lot, and changed for better. I grew more than what I expected. I met new people yet I lose some. I opened again my heart and felt overwhelmed with a new love. But not all were in favor of me, until one day I lost it. So much just happened, until my smiles were faded, until I fake the Me that they met.

As the book has ended, I started to write a new one. I begin with looking back the ugly truth of past as well as the beautiful experiences I had. I look back and see what I need to let go, and what I need to keep. What are the things and who are the people that will be with me for this next book.

I changed not for others’ sake. I changed not for others attention. I changed not for them to like me, to love me. I changed because I know this is part of growing up and this is part of learning. These changes don’t mean that I am not the person they used to be with. It means that I become better in such way I know. In a way that only few will understand. In a way that someone will love. Together with the beginning of this book, I have with me the changes that the past gave.

The new Me is already written.