Wednesday, February 9, 2011

The Cookie

In just one bite, what you feel will change...

Untie the Lace

Untie the Lace

Before you grab and munch one,
You have to untie the lace on top.
You have to open to get what you crave for
You have to open it and share with the one you dear most.

Before you hear the story,
Before you criticize things,
Open your heart and mind first,
Of what this Cookie could share to you, to others.

In my mind, I voiced

From the other world, I tried different,
I went to a new one, a new life to begin.
New faces, new environment,
I don’t know where my heart should be placed.

I am a guy who seeks for some change.
Change that will be so hard at first,
Change that I really don’t expect,
As I see someone that I never thought I will love

I am like the other guys; I easily bond with friends,
But I indifferent of what I feel inside,
You would know my story as you start,
By the way, I am Jin, Rainer Jin to be exact.

In my heart, I spoke,

From my moments of resting,
I still have to do extra things,
Sometimes I asked why I should keep on studying.
It is vacation, I should be sleeping.

But the school is my only playground,
It is where I feel no grounds.
In school that I only find peace in mind,
Behind those projects and assignments to work upon.

I am a girl, who always have books in hand.
Books, papers, and lessons; to which I only bond.
I am not used with too many people, too much company,
I enjoy being alone or being with few.

I am a girl, who doesn’t like adventures,
I am a girl, who follows change,
You would know as the change in my life goes
By the way, I am Mai, Karylle Mai to be precise.

Day 1: Company

It is summer vacation.
Time for beaches and cool floats.
But I couldn’t even have a view,
Because I have classes to attend to.
It is surely an extreme vacation.
But it’s not the time for new adventures.
I have to enroll my subjects,
In a different school to transfer.
It is bit awkward to have classmates from higher levels
It’s like new dimension to travel.
How would I start to smile and have company?
Can’t find where I should begin.
New school, new place, life’s continuation.
Am I friendly enough to start a conversation?
I don’t want to feel naïve in this world,
I could bond with them with few words.

Day 2: Friendship

Weeks passed, still feel the same.
Nothing new, everything is in place.
I know them, they know me.
I know now how to smile, to laugh and to glee.
Weeks passed and I created my own circle.
I am now with people, with friends indeed.
Nothing to worry not even to write any article,
It is only by introducing me; I am free!
I have to make a move to collaborate.
I should throw this mask of shyness away.
I should let myself free from this box,
I have to introduce myself to everyone.
I have a new friend to include on my circle
The one who I never thought how to appreciate.
The girl who I thought the world is in books and pens,
The very first girl I met in this place.

Day 3: Closeness


Smile, laugh, sing and dance,
I enjoyed with them, thanks for the chance.
Chance – to be free and have friends,
I have to create a new circle for them.
The girl in the world of books and pens,
Is now one of my classmates, my company, and my friends.
She is far different of what I thought,
Closeness, it’s what our friendship brought.
I enjoyed his company,
The guy I never thought I would ever be.
He is totally different from others.
Closeness, it’s what our friendship gathers.
With contacts, I know new things about her,
Every single thing we could share with others.
Laughs, smiles, jokes, and all!
Who would have ever known my summer is more than I thought.

Day 4: Wonder

Week after summer, class started.
I am truly excited to meet my classmates.
I am excited to bond with my summer class friends,
I miss the ambiance of the school, over -crowded.
My very first semester here started,
I wonder who the new faces to meet are.
I am not nervous anymore,
For I have done it with them before.
In the hallway, in the library, in the mall,
I see his face together with the others I longed for.
I miss him and them a lot!
A warm greeting and hug is about to have.
In the hallway, in the library, in the mall,
I see her face anywhere I go.
Her warm greetings and beautiful smiles
Give me different feeling, I wonder why?

Day 5: Care

In the middle of my semester, something buzzed,
It’s my phone, someone text me that night.
I never thought it would be him,
But that doesn’t mean even a single thing.
In the middle of my semester, something pumped,
It’s my heart, and I couldn’t stop thinking about her that night.
I never thought I would have this so much care.
This care that makes me feel bothered.
I care about my subjects and myself,
I care about my heart because it is broken,
I care about my friends, and just that.
Everything is normal, everything is fine.
I care about her, and what she’s up to.
I care about her, and wait for her messages.
I care about her, and it’s more than other friends,
Everything is not right, but I know she could be the just right.

Day 6: Confession

On my way home he texts me,
Asking for what reaction I will give.
He told me things that trouble him.
It’s not a big issue, so I deal normal to it.
I asked her but I think on the wrong time.
She doesn’t even mind of how serious I am.
Everything to her is normal
Same old friends, even thought I wanted more than.
I didn’t mind about that confession,
For me it’s not a good affection.
I would be facing a big complication,
I should ignore this infatuation.
This confession brought me to happiness,
Happy to show how I really care.
And I still have this friendship together,
I still have the chance to show how much I dear her.

Day 7: Sweetness

Late September and I am on my way home,
I am with him, my company until in the middle of the road.
I feel so special about what he did,
How sweet of him, I should thank of it.
Late September, the first time I travel with her,
In the bus, I see her sweetness and care,
Her concerns for me before we get separated,
This feeling grows very much unexpected.
It happened so many times,
Whenever I go home from overnights,
And this company that I really enjoy most,
Thank you for keeping me safe, Always keep safe.
I enjoyed what I used to do,
I get even closer, me and you.
It gives me more time to be with her
It gives me reasons to feel special for her.

Day 8: Love

I always see you in the school,
I am always with him, it’s so cool.
Is it really his coolness that made me weak?
Or this warm love that I hid?
I always see her in the school,
I always think of her, night, day, and noon.
Is it really my mind that taps my brain?
Or it taps my heart that soon to drain.
My smile is never been wasted in front of him,
My laugh is never been annoying for him.
I love this feeling, seems like I am floating,
I love this feeling, or should I yell, “I love him?
Her sweet smiles that makes the sun shines,
Her beautiful eyes that glitters all the time.
I love this feeling, positive always come in place,
I love this feeling or should I scream, “I love her?
To be with is like munching a cookie,
In every single bite it keeps my heart hit,
In every single moment with him keeps me alive.
Like in my cookies, I can’t stop falling in love.
The cookie that we shared together brings flavor,
It brings aroma in the moments we had installed.
This cookie, her all-time favorite oatmeal cookie,
The best food than any words could fill.
In every stress I had,
Only this cookie brings back my smile,
In every moments I engaged with him,
Only his cookie controls my undying feeling.
In every muscles that ache,
Only her cookie brings back my energy again.
In every pictures I drew with her,
Only the cookies color my beautiful painting.
And our love grows and grows,
Our love that we cannot control.
I love you, I keep on saying,
I love you, I keep on whispering.

Day 9: Harmony

Callalily - Gabay

Say my name, and the guitar starts plucking.
Speak the words and I hear them singing.
Your voice gives good sound,
A good melody; so medley, so sweet.
Say my name, and the angels would repeat,
Whisper the words and I will be eager to listen.
Your hymn lullabies me softly,
A beautiful harmony; sing life with me.
And you chant the best song to sing.
You play the best melody to hear.
I can’t help to smile when you start to sing our song,
I couldn’t wait to hear you again for so long.
The music of ours started to play,
The music of love that we composed and shared,
This music that I waited to sing for me and you,
For us, my dear, it’s for you.

Day 10: Promises

No doubt, what I feel for you is true,
No doubt, that you’re the one for me.
No doubt, every time I’m with you is forever,
Now that I have you I promise this would last longer.
No doubt, I am the happiest man,
No doubt, I will treasure everything for life.
No doubt, I will fight for you, I swear!
Now that I have you no one could get you, no one would dare.
I promise to stay, to love, to care.
I promise to share every little time with you.
I promise to keep everything on the right track,
I promise and vow in front of Almighty God.
I promise to stay, bring chocolates every day.
I promise to wait, buy you cookies when it is late.
I promise my heart is all yours,
I promise and vow, in front of Almighty God, all.
Count on my words, feel loved.
Trust me with all that you’ve got,
Have faith; believe, I won’t let you go,
I promise to do this promises I engraved in my soul.

Day 11: Misunderstanding

In the long run together,
Things seem so different, I wonder.
I wonder what he’s up to, how is he?
Is this what school break could bring?
Everything is fine, everything is good.
Everything is light, until the shadows throw.
I wonder why I have this doubt,
This night brings different, why?

We argued, we fight,
But I am afraid to lose him, I won’t.
And whatever bad thoughts I had, I throw it all.
I’ll make it to the point that we are okay as night falls.
She’s mad, and I remained silent.
She’s crying, and I’ve nothing to say but sorry.
I love her so much; I don’t want it this way.
I’ll accept all her madness, but assure that she’s still in my arms as I wake.

And this misunderstanding happens several times,
Several times that I couldn’t understand his side.
But I still did my best to understand for I love him so,
I tried this long patience without further a due.
Things had little changes.
Change that will grow its weight.
This little misunderstanding seems unreasonable,
But I love her; I had to fix it all.

* And from our misunderstanding, things suddenly changed, yet I tried to understand you. I tried not to open break up with you. I did my best not to think and ask for space. I did all I can just to have you and never leave me. If you just only know what I feel inside. But what did you do? You did all the things I am afraid to happen. You created a nightmare and I wonder why. I didn’t do anything against you, not even to think about it. I love you, with all I have, but you throw it all away. You keep some but those are few of what I gave.

Day 12: Pain

With all this fights and arguments,
It brings pain, breakage and hate.
With all the lies you dressed my heart and mind,
All this lies that start up a fire.
I didn’t mean it all, not even to hurt you.
I didn’t mean to give you so much pain.
I have this trouble in mind,
And in every second it changes the beat of my heart.
Why you do have to do this to me?
Why do you want to finish everything?
It isn’t about your love and care that lost,
It’s about something deeper, with bigger cost.
It’s about her, my past, my lost love.
It’s about this doubt of you and my love.
It’s about me, and my heart that I follow.
Sorry but it’s not about us, or you anymore.
And all I could think is why,
Why these things happened in short period of time?
Why do you have to think twice, if you had me?
Why do you have to hold another hand and easily let go of me?
I can’t stop my feeling, when it’s about her.
I can’t help myself to love and have her again.
All I know now is that I found my lost love,
I still consider you, I hope you understand.
She came and you welcome her warmly
She came and you disregard me.
I love you; I want to fight for this love.
But how would I do that if you already raised the white flag?

Day 13: Stupidity

Goodbyes have been spread away,
But it won’t be a farewell of everything.
I won’t let you get out of my sight.
You could let go of my hand but never my heart.
Goodbyes have been fly away,
But not our friendship; on where we begin.
I don’t want to see you walk away,
Stay, I promise everything will be okay.
Even though I am not now your world,
Even though you didn’t keep your words,
Even though it is so hard to move on,
I can’t get out of you, I have to control.
Sorry but things are different.
I choose her even though it’s hard, it hurts.
Stupidity; It is what dominates me.
I am stupid because I hurt and leave you this way.
If I choose to stay, stupidity reigns.
And I am stupid for I accept what you offer.
You offer me friendship, and bring it back in place
Even though I don’t know where to start, and what should I throw away.
Let’s act this way; that everything does not change.
Let’s act and pretend that nothing happened
Let’s act and be stupid of what is not real.
It’s better than to face the truth and got bitter.
I pretend a smile, a laugh and a presence.
I act what you did and not to be affected.
Stupid, I am very stupid.
But I can’t do anything but to move on and accept.

*I choose to be stupid, and fool myself. I choose to be stupid and think that everything is the same. I choose to be stupid and hide all this cries. All this tears that left my heart dry. But my stupidity brings more wound in me. It worsens all this bad memories, it worsens the situation, and this pain grows and grows.

Day 14: Happiness

I could now laugh and smile,
Though each night I still cry.
I could now sing the songs I know,
But never the same melody that I belong.
I am happy to be loved by her
I am happy holding her hands so tight.
I am happy because I have her back,
Start a new good story with Kin, my love.
I am happy because I could now move on,
I am happy for him because he had move through.
I am happy, I keep on telling myself.
I should be happy that he is not with me.
No more sadness and loneliness,
No more bad memories to think.
No more Mai, It’s all about Kin,
No more false happiness everything is real.

All this stuffs and pretending,
All these beautiful butterflies that are flying,
All the way I am happy, carrying this smile,
But those are just a façade, I fake those each time.
False happiness, it’s what all these things bring,
This false happiness that seems so real,
I thought I found this right in a wrong time,
I thought I had it all, but it’s gone in a glance.
Each day, I seek for my smiles,
My smiles that I soon to forget,
But I have to be fully recovered,
From all the pain that m pleasure gave.

*Each time I hide the truth, it brings more hatred. Each time I tried to smile, tried to forget, I can’t have the best. I have to forgive you, forgive myself before it all happen. I have to stay away from you until I am okay. Please stay away literally, because each time I see you, all I remember is lie. And when the time that I totally accept everything and I could continue to move on, until the time that there is no more hard feelings, no more bad memories to recall. If that time will come soon, I promise to be the same person that you know. I promise to bring back what we have lost, together with finding me to whom I belong, of what I should be part of. Time will heal me; it will surely care for me. I don’t want to waste all this good memories that we planted.

Mai's Perception

Shape it round, heart, or man, color it black or brown.
Rough in texture, could be soft or brittle as you bite.
Some are sweet; some are salty and bitter,
And when you eat it, it’s like you escape from reality.
Like a love, in a man’s heart, is shaped round,
Like a love that has rough roads to pass,
Like a love that could be sweet and bitter,
Like a love that could bring change in reality.
With the cookies, you see the world light,
As you bite, and when the chocolate melt inside your mouth,
It is like you have been caressed by your only love.
The positivity it gives,
Brings you back to where you really live in.
And like in love that you had been excited about,
The love that you crave to have,
The fragrance that you longed to smell,
The savor of those delightful kisses.
But when you hunger for more the faster it gone,
When you eat a lot, the faster you got full,
And not all that you could nibble will be the same first bite,
Not all cookies are the same, not even in sight.
But your love, like your cookies,
Your love that would never fade,
Your love that others would ever find,
But not all could appreciate of what you’ve got.
And you never get tired of giving your best,
The best care that you could ever lent,
And you never care even though they hurt you,
You will always continue to be the same cookie that people love to.
But things will be alright when morning rise,
Each day is your chance to stand and move on.
Each day is your reason to smile and see the light,
Each day is your chance to learn and love again,
These days that would have you eat another cookie to regain.
It is better to love and lost, that not to love at all,
It’s good to have failure and learn from it,
Because weeping may endures for a night,
But joy comes in the morning.
You have to forgive and forget,
And you have to accept every single thing,
Though it is in favor or not,
Moving on starts with acceptance.
Never been confused of where to begin,
Look back at the past to know where you lack,
Fill those spaces of what it really need,
And never got vain of what you had seen.
Time heals everything, but big scars last,
Time would let you realize what you have blinded about,
That not all you have held and grabbed is yours,
Time would let you see where your destiny falls
Start a new good story, write it all,
Let what you had before a good guide for tomorrow,
Never ever be afraid of rejection,
Not all people could give you a full attention.
Write the first chapter with good flashback,
But carve the second one with a good action plans,
And while you are writing grab some cookie,
Like grabbing another opportunity to be loved endlessly.